Ever had one of those moments where someone surprised you by saying your name?
When I was a college freshman at Chapel Hill, I was given the opportunity to participate in a work/study program to help pay for my expenses and gain some experience. I interviewed at the Dean’s office of the Kenan-Flagler Business School, and it turned out to be a huge blessing because the most wonderful woman became my boss (and like a second mother to me – I love you Marilyn!). She trained me well and because of her, I was (and am) blessed in more ways than I can count.
I have a lot of great memories of working at the Dean’s office, but one of the most memorable moments was the first time the Dean (Dr. Zeithaml at that time) came strolling by and said, “Good morning, Tamson.” Okay, simple enough. But I was kind of shocked! I was a lowly, clueless (albeit enthusiastic) freshman who worked in the office a few hours a week, and he was the DEAN, busy meeting with important people and making important decisions. I was surprised he knew I existed, but he knew my name, and was always kind enough to acknowledge me.
I’m sure it helped that I was working for Marilyn, who was like the office superstar. But still, when someone you look up to, or see as “important” knows your name (especially when you have a strange name, like mine, that is hard to remember), it makes you walk a little taller. When someone acknowledges you, it makes you feel “seen” and significant.
While at UNC, I also took several religion classes taught by a Jewish professor, Dr. Halperin, who turned out to be one of my favorite professors. Dr. Halperin stands out to me for a number of reasons, but I was especially impressed at how he remembered names. There were several hundred kids in each class and no assigned seats, but within a couple of weeks, he would call you by name in class, and he could also call you by name if he saw you on campus – it was mind-boggling that he could remember the names of so many people.
Because of Dean Zeithaml and Dr. Halperin, I began to understand how important it is to learn names. (I used to be quite good at it until I had small children – now I am lucky if I remember my own name or call the kids by the correct name!) It seems so simple, but it’s important. Just because someone knows your name doesn’t mean they know you, but there is an acknowledgment there – you are not being overlooked or ignored. And if the Dean and the professor had not known my name, I doubt I would remember them in the same way. They stand out to me because they took the time to learn my name and acknowledge me when they didn’t have to — it was an unexpected, pleasant surprise. And it made me feel important.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said; they will forget what you did; but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou
When my parents come to visit, I always get a kick out of watching them interact with people when we go out. They talk to EVERYBODY and it’s second nature for them to try to make people smile and feel good about themselves. For example, if the guy bagging our groceries is wearing a name-tag with the name “Mark,” my Dad will say, “Hey Mark, you are about the best grocery bagger I’ve ever seen! How long have you been working here?” (and then this conversation goes on and on) Before we got the EZ Pass for toll roads, my Dad would even chat with the people working in the toll booths and have them laughing. My Mom does the same thing, and sometimes I feel a little ashamed that I don’t always look for opportunities to interact with people. Without even thinking about it, my parents seem to use every interaction to lift people up – they acknowledge people and make them feel significant.
My parents inspire me and make me want to follow their example, but I have a long way to go. Most the time I’m focused on “herding” three kids and getting the task at hand completed without tears, destruction of property, losing someone, tantrums (from kids or from mommy), or extra trips to the potty. It’s hard to make people feel significant when you are significantly distracted. But there is no excuse, and selfishly, I’m cheating myself when I don’t look for ways to bless people. “The generous will prosper. Those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.” Proverbs 11:25
There are days when I take for granted that God knows my name. It’s hard to comprehend . . . the God of the universe cares to know me. It’s still an unexpected, pleasant surprise. If I could truly understand the enormity of it, I don’t think there is anything in the world that could ever make me feel insignificant again.
It doesn’t matter who you are . . . dean, professor, stay-at-home mom . . . God calls us by name and gives us significance, and then He expects us to make others feel significant as well. How do you make people feel? Do you lift people up or bring them down? Do you empower and encourage or do you leave people feeling insignificant and ignored? Do people feel loved by you or do they feel judged? I know I’ve been on each end of the spectrum, even though I would never intentionally ignore or discourage someone. I pray that God will forgive me for those times and help me to become a person that always seeks to encourage.
What a gift it would be if we could all find confidence in a God that . . .
– knows us and loves us completely (John 3:16, 1st Corin. 13:12, Psalm 139)
– wants us to know Him too (John 10:14)
– desires that we find so much security in His love that when we “give away” what we have (when we show others love and make them feel significant), it inexplicably increases in our own hearts and lives as well. (1st Corin. 15:58, 1 John 4:7-8, 2nd Corin. 1:4)
So back to the original question: Ever had one of those moments where someone surprised you by saying your name?
Maybe you can provide one of those surprise moments to someone else today.
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Oh my, sweet Tamson, never thought I would see my name on the Internet like this! You have significantly blessed my life. And your insight and wisdom at such a young age is overwhelming! Keep up the great writing. You are touching many lives for the glory of our Great God! I love you!
Hi Tamson, Great musings about the use of a person’s name. I remember my 1st day at Plymouth Rock and Chris Olie, whom I had never met, walked up to me and welcomed me aboard using my 1st name. I was very impressed!
Hey Tamson,
That was a great blog and thanks for your generous comments regarding your parents. I wish we were actually as great as you believe us to be, but it is nice to know that you think we are good examples. That makes we want to do better. One of the reason people hang out in places like the “Cheers” bar was because “everybody knows your name.” You do a wonderful job of interacting with others considering all the things you have going on in your life. Not only does God know our name, but is actually a part of who we are since we are His creation and He abides in us through His Spirit. God is not just some great Spirit that makes the effort to know our name, He is us in the sense that “in Him we live, breath and have our being. I am always surprised when someone I do not expect to acknowledge me calls my name, but when it comes to the Lord I feel He is so much a part me that I would be surprised if He did not know my name. How could He not know us if He created us and lives within us? When we become aware of how much God is a part of who we are, then we are better able to interact with the rest of His creation, because we understand that we are all part of His family and need to encourage one another in His love. Keep up the great work and know that you are loved so much.
Love this! I used to teach my day camp staff that learning each child’s name was one of the most important things they could do to make an impact. Thanks for reminding me to continue to do that!