The words of this “blessing” (in part) won’t leave me alone – they keep coming to mind, and it’s annoying . . . or troubling:
“May the wayfaring Spirit of God illuminate the Way.
And may we go out
to be inspired and troubled
by the God whose love
is as sharp as the spikes of a cactus,
and as tender as it’s flower. Amen.”
So many things I love about these words – the reference to God as wayfaring (not confined or restrained to “religious” places, as we like to think of Him), the references to God being both sharp and tender (yes, and yes).
But it’s the “inspired and troubled” phrase that has stayed with me. It kind of surprised me to read these words. I often refer to God’s prompting as “pestering” (almost every blog contains God’s pestering at some level) and I do find it both annoying and inspiring, but I don’t recall this sort of description of God in church.
Something about reading it in church made it seem less like God just likes to pester me, and that maybe He works with lots of people that way and they either say it in a nicer way (God inspired, prompted, led, willed, guided, etc.) or don’t recognize those annoying moments as God.
It also made me wonder if being inspired and troubled goes hand in hand (and let me just clarify, I do NOT believe that God causes everything to happen for a reason – I don’t think God is some sort of sadist – but I DO believe that God can work all things together for good). I looked up the definitions of both words and some of the definitions run parallel:
Troubled: disturb, agitate, stir up, bother, vex, create discomfort
Inspired: animated; imbued with the spirit to do something
Nothing gets us “imbued with the spirit to do something” like being agitated or uncomfortable.
In a weird way, this totally makes sense in God’s “upside down” economy (last shall be first, love your enemies, must die to self in order to live fully . . and all of that uncomfortable, counterintuitive wisdom that seems ridiculous to our human logic).
To open yourself up to God is to welcome disturbance.
Luckily, to open yourself up to God also means welcoming unconditional love, forgiveness, peace, joy, and much more. But the uncomfortable part is that God doesn’t want us to keep that stuff to ourselves – He expects us to live out our experience of Him in an imperfect world that is hard to love and forgive, that prefers division over unity and is often willing to sacrifice joy and peace for fear and self-protection.
God is love. And love is risky. Love requires vulnerability.
So in 2019, I’m NOT praying to be inspired and troubled – God does that without me asking Him!!
But I AM going to pray that He helps me to recognize that pestering as divine inspiration (instead of divine irritation), that what troubles me will prompt me to action (not reaction), and that I will follow this wayfaring God without fear or hesitation (or whining – that might be the biggest challenge. “The line between being a reasonable skeptic and a whiner is often very fine.” The Skeptical Believer, Daniel Taylor).
Blessings to you in the new year!
May we welcome divine disturbance, and may we all be inspired and troubled by God’s amazing, life-giving, irrational, scandalous, mysterious love!
Follow
share via email
Hi Tamson, I did a reread as we travel the Alantic toward England. I always enjoy your insite and the way you can put in to words the many emotions we experience in our walk with God. Keep up the great work and know that you are loved and appreciated.