Every day is filled with lessons and reminders. This day, my lesson started while hauling my heavy load up a big hill.
The kids are at ages now where we want them to make good choices for themselves, so we have been talking to them about being active, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, etc. They see me going out to run or bike or swim, but when Keith is not home, I have to get creative about exercising. So, I decided one morning that I would go out and do hill runs. The kids were all cozy, watching a show, so I figured I had 20 or 30 minutes before anyone would be calling for me.
To my surprise, shortly after I starting huffing up and down the hill, the kids came out to join me. They raced up and down the hill with me and talked about how they were using their muscles and getting stronger.
In that moment, I was reminded of how important it is to live by example and give kids a chance to participate. It’s easy to tell them what to do, but the more powerful lessons come by involving them.
And we are showing our kids what we believe and what is important to us all the time, whether we like it or not. They watch what we do, they listen to what we say, they observe how we treat others, and they know by our actions what is important to us. It’s kind of scary. With most people in our lives, we try to control what they see and how they perceive us. Facebook and other social media have taken this even further because we can put our best foot forward and only share with people what we want them to know, we can edit pictures, we can skip posting on days when we are a royal mess.
But our kids see everything. It’s a true test of our character. They see us at our best and our worst. They are watching how we spend our free time, how we handle conflict, how much time we spend staring at screens instead of looking at them. They are listening to our conversations. They don’t just have a front row seat – they also have a backstage pass. Again, it’s kind of scary.
There’s a lot of pressure when you realize that your kids are watching you to learn how to live. You start to wonder what you are really teaching them and you begin asking yourself questions like: Would I want them to talk to their kids this way? Would I want them to handle this situation the way I did? Am I living what I believe? Am I showing them how to have a grateful heart? Do they see passion for God? Do they see me living a life of love?
Sometimes God uses my kids as a big mirror. They are constantly reminding me of who I am, reflecting what I am showing them. Sometimes this is a good reflection and sometimes it’s bad, but I’m grateful that God has such a direct way to give me a big fat reality check, whether I want it or not.
“As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.” Proverbs 27:19
Sometimes we get so busy and self-absorbed, we don’t stop to consider what sort of life we are reflecting. God uses all kinds of things to get our attention, but when you are a parent, you can lay down a heavy bet that God is going to use your kids to teach you A LOT.
It makes me wonder if this is why Jesus says about children: “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” Luke 18:16-17
When my kids saw me outside running up and down the hill, they just wanted to be with me and be a part of what I was doing. When we see God, do we want to run to Him and just hang out with Him and be a part of what He is doing?
Our kids reflect back to us who we are because they are dependent on us, they are paying attention, they need us, they look up to us and love us . . . and they just want us to love them back and reflect to them who they are, let them know they matter and they are significant. Are we paying enough attention to give them an honest reflection of who they are? Are we living lives we want them to reflect in turn?
We are God’s children and He invites us to participate, to know Him, to get that backstage pass, so we can be a true reflection of who He is. I want to have that childlike eagerness and exuberance. I want to run to be with Him. I want to trust Him so completely that I can become a true reflection of who He is.
“. . . Jesus was filled with the joy of the Holy Spirit, and he said, “O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, thank you for hiding these things from those who think themselves wise and clever, and for revealing them to the childlike. Yes, Father, it pleased you to do it this way.” Luke 10:21
I often think of a “reality check” as a negative thing, but sometimes it can be the opposite. The biggest, fattest reality check of all is that God loves us and that He invites us to be with Him. It’s beyond anything I can understand — I pray that I can have childlike faith to embrace it with joy.
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Love your blogs. I look forward to each new one, and every one has been so profound. Love you, girl!
Marilyn
Thanks so much Marilyn! I love you too.
Tamson, you put me to shame. You are so perceptive! I am so grateful God has given you such insight. Wish I had recognized the things you perceive when you guys were little. Your children are blessed to have you for their mother. I love you so much and thank God for the wonderful mother you have brcome. What a blessing you are to my life!
You and Dad don’t give yourself enough credit. Morgan and I had even more access to you guys when we were growing up because most the time we were all staying together in a small hotel room! I don’t know how you handled it . . . never getting a break. But we got to see your true character and you and Dad were both people of integrity and passion — I am so grateful I was raised by people who were “real” and who walked the talk — it was such a gift! I only hope I can do the same for your grandchildren.
I get a reality check every time I read one of your blogs. I wonder who raised you to be so wise because I know it couldn’t have been me. Your mom was certainly a better example for you to follow and so I guess she gets most of the credit. I have been a God seeker, but not much of a follower. Thank goodness He understands and loves me in spite of me usually choosing to run up and down the hills of my own choosing. Your kids can sure teach you a bunch if you are tuned in to them and you can do the same for them if indeed they choose to tune in to you. Great blog, keep up the good work.