Defiant Love

We often think of Christians as a bunch of rule followers, people with a long list of “do’s” and “don’ts,” keeping score (ahem, maybe a wee bit judgmental?).  But (in my opinion) Christians are supposed to be countercultural rebels, defiant in love.

Jesus gave us a living example of God’s love, and it’s reckless and defiant.

(Just for fun, I’m going to include some pictures of my kids with captions that served as inspiration for me.)

Defiance is a word that usually has a negative association, but I keep hearing the word used in reference to forgiveness and joy and love, and it makes sense to me.  We have to defy our human nature and the culture around us to be who God created us to be.  And since God really seems to love weird twists, as we defy some of our natural emotional inclinations, we become more comfortably and joyfully ourselves.  (why does He have to make everything counterintuitive?)

There’s a lot going on in the world, and we must choose how we will respond. It’s stressful to feel “out of control.” It’s easier to observe and criticize, to throw stones, but I believe it’s our responsibility to do our small part to make things better. I read recently that the best way to combat skepticism (and it’s uglier relative, cynicism) is to DO something positive. “The answer to safe or angry or harried emotional skepticism is risky engagement. You need to. . . cross the boundary into the story.” (Skeptical Believer, Daniel Taylor)

Although I can’t change other people, I can change how I respond and interact with them.  Our emotions are contagious and we have to ask ourselves what we are spreading around.  Will I meet anger with more anger and fuel the fire?  I don’t think that will change anything and it will just make me feel worse.  As the great Martin Luther King said in this familiar quote: “Darkness cannot drive out darkness.  Only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate.  Only love can do that.”

This past year, I have wrestled with my response, and God has not made it easy for me.  He has not given me permission to be angry or resentful and He will not allow me to lump people into unflattering categories just because I disagree with them. (More on that topic: Anger, Embarrassment, and God’s Irritating Grace)  As usual, He is incredibly irritating and just keeps challenging me to love.  Even worse, sometimes He wants me to humiliate myself and actually learn from people that I find loathsome!  Turns out this whole loving defiantly thing is a pain, but the right thing is not usually the easy thing.

In Jesus’ day, He didn’t have to stage a political protest to shake up the system.  He simply loved all people, acknowledged and cared for the marginalized of society, and challenged the religious who prioritized law over love.  He broke the religious rules, but always for the higher purpose of love, because that’s why the law existed in the first place.

Not much has changed.  In our day, we feel called to participate in the world in unique ways, but if we really want to be defiant and challenge the status quo, all we have to do is be countercultural, like Jesus.

The way of defiance looks like this to me:

• Defiant love for all people, in a world that tells us to align ourselves with people who look and think and act like us
• Defiant faith, when the world tells us to only trust ourselves
• Defiant generosity, having an open hand, when the world tells us to grasp all that we can and hold on tightly
• Defiant hope, in a world full of fear and cynicism
• Defiant unity, in a world that loves to create boundaries and division
• Defiant grace, when the world teaches us to judge and keep score
• Defiant joy, in a world that avoids processing pain, thus numbing the ability to feel true joy as well
• Defiant forgiveness, in a world that finds power in holding grudges and seeking revenge
• Defiant mercy, in a world that wants everyone to “get what they deserve”
• Defiant community, in a world that tells us to focus on “self” and rugged independence
• Defiant prayer, reflection and quiet, in a world full of noise, distraction and busyness
• Defiant vulnerability, in a world that teaches self-protection
• Defiant gratitude, in a world that focuses on “the next thing” and what’s missing
• Defiant kindness, in a world where people make themselves feel better by making others feel worse

The list could go on.  I will always struggle to be defiant in the right ways – I won’t be able to do it without God’s help.  What comes naturally is fear and anger, control and self-protection (I can relate with Nadia Bolz-Weber who says her most common prayer is, “God, please help me not to be an asshole”), but I do not want to add anymore darkness to the world around me.  When I refer to the “world” in the list above, I’m referring to human nature.  “The world” isn’t out there; it isn’t us vs. them; “the world” is in me and my ego loves it.  “It does not therefore, depend on man’s desire or effort, but on God’s mercy.” (Romans 9:16).

Defiant acts do not have to be big gestures.  Maybe your act of defiance today is just to smile at someone or offer an encouraging word.  Maybe it’s to slow down and spend some time enjoying the moment instead of checking off another item on the to-do list.  Maybe it’s to say “I’m sorry” or “I forgive you” or to visit someone that you know would appreciate it.  For me, a simple act of defiance is not “unfollowing” some people on Facebook.  Keith doesn’t understand why I torture myself and get frustrated, but I tell him those people are my “grace-builders” and God is challenging me to stay engaged (which means I’m someone else’s grace-builder too.  Hmmm.)

God’s love for us is defiant – it’s relentless, unexplainable and reckless. 

As we experience His love, let us pour it out to others with the same abandon.   

“The evangelical task of the Christian community . . . is to live and love in a way that draws people and cries out for explanation.  Our proclamation only has as much credibility as our love requires explanation.” (Gregory Boyd, Repenting of Religion)

(And MORE inspiration from my photo archives – sorry I can’t stop!)